Like Father, Like Son
by boshrocks
Summary: Over the summer Harry's become more like his father than Hermione likes. It's all Sirius' fault! read and review please. I don't mind flames but i would prefer not to have them.
1. The Train part 1

As Harry came through the barrier onto platform 9 ¾ he noticed the looks that people shot at him. He was used to this however and he heard Sirius, his godfather and guardian, coming through the barrier laughing.

"Now what did you do?" Harry tried to look stern but failed utterly.

"You'll see. I put the magazine in your trunk. Read it on the train."

Harry continued to see the looks and instead of getting annoyed by them was actually rather pleased. He hadn't worked this hard to not get noticed.

Over the summer he had defeated Voldemort and had spent the rest of the summer working out. He already had a good body from playing Quidditch for so many years.

Living with Sirius had definitely helped. Under Sirius' guidance he had become very like his father James. Remus Lupin said that he was trying to bring James back through Harry. But Harry didn't mind. He felt like his father and even though he had been dead for almost 17 years he felt closer to his father than he had ever felt.

This was partly because Sirius and Remus spent the evenings telling him stories about the Marauders. How he had laughed! What a group they had been! He also came up with lots of pranks that he might be able to play on the school during his last year.

On his birthday he had received his Hogwarts letter and the badge telling him that not only was he the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, he was Head Boy. That was, like, the greatest rank in the school. He now practically owned it. Oh yes!

As eh walked along the platform he knew he looked good. He had grown some more over the summer and he now stood at 6'3.

Lounging in the doorway of one of the compartments was Ron. He stood at 6'4 and a half and was freckled and slightly sunburnt from being on holiday somewhere hot.

"Hello Ron! I see you forgot the fact that you redheads tend to burn a lot easier than other skin tones. Well done! You now match your hair. I'm joking. It's good to see you!"

"You too mate! Have you seen Hermione around anywhere?"

"Nope. Why? Has she changed?"

"Hell yeah! She's stunning now. I don't know what she did over the summer but it definitely worked! She said she went looking for you."

The two boys shared a look. Since Ron had told Harry about Hermione's crush on him it seemed like she never left him alone. It was really annoying. However they had just spent the whole summer apart, so maybe she met someone…else.

"And I found him!" Hermione squealed from behind him.

The next moment Hermione had launched herself into Harry's arms and, had he not been so strong he would have fallen over with her, as he had always done in the past whenever she did this. Now he picked her up and twirled her around. She squealed again and cried for him to put her down this instant or pay the penalty.

"You really think you can challenge me, Hermione? I killed Voldy over the summer; you really think you're a match for me?"

She poked him in the ribs and he dropped her.

"You really have turned into the clone of your father. I blame Sirius for this."

"What've I done this time?" Sirius said coming over to them.

"You turned Harry into his father! Complete with arrogance and a head too big to fit on the train."

Ron laughed until he cried. Harry and Sirius shot Hermione the same disapproving look.

She flinched and hastened to board the train. Indeed she moved so fast that she collided with Ginny Weasley as she came to find the boys. She dusted herself off and stood next to her brother. Harry noticed that she was avoiding looking at him.

"Hi boys. What's up?"

"Nothing Gin."

"Hello Ginny." Harry said pointedly.

Now she condescended to look at him. Her mouth dropped visibly. Harry grinned. Oh yeah! He got it!

The train whistled and Harry clambered onto the train along with the rest of the students. Sirius waved as the train pulled out and Harry and Ron waved back until he Dissaperated.

Harry and Ron made their way up the corridor trying to find Hermione and Ginny. They assumed that they would be together as they liked to gossip together on the train. That was another thing that had changed about Hermione. Over the years they noticed that Hermione was becoming more like Lavender and Parvati than they liked.

Eventually they found them in a compartment near the back of the train. As soon as the boys entered they stopped talking abruptly. Ron looked at Harry and he looked right back. They were used to this situation. Whenever this happened they knew that the girls had been talking about them or telling girly secrets.

Every occupant in the compartment rolled their eyes at each other as they noted what the boys were thinking.

Harry pulled out the magazine that Sirius had told him about.

It was the Quibbler. The headline read "Harry Potter is GAY!"

He chuckled as he read it. Ron looked over his shoulder at the headline. He too laughed.

"Who would think that of you Harry? It's not true is it?"

"Of course not! I think I need to find Luna and get an explanation from her."

"Why Luna?"

"She wrote the article."


	2. Luna!

Harry nearly stumbled as he walked along the train's corridors. Where the hell was Luna?

As he passed each compartment door he looked in to see if he could see her within them. Lots of people stared at him in awe as he walked past them.

They would of course. The story about how he had killed Lord Voldermort had been printed in every paper all over the world. He had even done an interview on the subject. Since then his fame had positively skyrocketed…to his great displeasure.

He hadn't liked the attention before but now it got a bit too much sometimes. Though he was pleased to know what he was famous for, this time round.

He spotted Luna in an almost deserted compartment. He flung the door open.

"Luna! At last I found you. Can I have a word with you outside please?"

She looked hesitant for a moment, but then she saw his angry green eyes. Oh dear.

Shutting the compartment door after her she casually leant against the wall as she waited for the tirade.

"You have some explaining to do. Remember writing this?"

He thrust the magazine article under her nose. She flinched.

"I don't know why you're so upset, Harry. It's not as bad as some of the things people have written about you."

"That is true, but they aren't my friends. They don't know me personally. You, on the other hand, do! You know it isn't true and yet you still wrote it in your father's magazine. Explain yourself!"

"My father wanted a new side to you. Besides in the wizarding world homosexuality lives freely alongside heterosexuality. It isn't seen as a bad thing to us, as I believe it kind of is in the muggle world."

"But I'm not gay!"

"We both know that isn't true."

Harry looked very confused.

"Stop talking in riddles!"

"I'm not. I know that you do partly find men attractive."

"You're off in fantasy world again. Luna-world I call it."

"Harry, you told me so yourself."

"I never!"

"Yes you did. End of last term. Now don't get angry with me, Harry."

"Don't get angry with you! It's a bit late for that! I'm bloody furious!"

Before he could get into his stride a hand was laid on his shoulder.

A cool hand that told him to calm down or pay the penalty.

It was Hermione. When he saw it was her he stopped himself and tried to conquer his temper.

Hermione watched him with amused eyes as he fought with himself.

"Look," she said to help him through it after about five minutes of watching him struggle. "there is an easy way out of this. All Harry has to do is deliver a statement saying that the allegations aren't true. Can you do that Harry? Can you get your father to print that, Luna?"

Luna nodded and Hermione looked at Harry, waiting for his affirmation.

It didn't come.

Hermione looked at him intently. Why was he not agreeing?

Then she saw the look he shot her way.

"Oh god, Harry! No! You can't be!"

He pushed Luna back into the compartment and took Hermione in a vice like grip and marched her down the corridor.

"Harry! Stop! Ow! You're hurting me! You're being very odd, Harry. Anyone would think that what the article said was true."

He stared at her.

"Oh God! It is, isn't it? What'll the world think?"

"I don't care a fig what the world thinks. But I will not send in that statement."

"It's true isn't it? The article? You are gay aren't you?"

"No I'm not. Well…let's just say that I swing both ways."

"So basically, Harry, you are telling me that you are bisexual?"

"You could say that!"


	3. Peeves and a Tiger

As they entered the entrance hall that evening they were deluged with a mixture of water and flour. And then as Harry searched for the telltale signs of Peeves he got a faceful of Bubotuber Pus. He spat it out and wiped his glasses on a corner of Ron's robes.

Hermione laughed and at his glare she caught one of the water balloons as it fell towards him and Harry grabbed it from her. Using his well built muscles he pitched it at Peeves.

Very surprisingly his aim was very good and even though Peeves dodged it, somehow it ricocheted off a beam and hit Peeves in the back of the head.

Peeves then brought out a water gun.

"Do you really think I'm scared of a water gun? They run out in a matter of minutes anyway." Harry said scornfully.

"Potty wee Potter doesn't know what Peevesie's put in this one though!" Peeves cackled. "Peevesie's put Verateserum in this one…you swallow so much as a drop and everyone here will learn your darkest secrets! Tee hee!"

"Even Voldy wasn't as evil as you are!"

Peeves took aim and fired he drenched Harry in the liquid and Harry covered is face with his already soaked sleeve. Not one drop went into his mouth. Then Peeves brought out another one.

"What's in this one, then?"

"Polyjuice Potion of a special nature…it has the hair of your pretty little friend in it." And Peeves pointed a thin spindly finger at Hermione.

"Where did you get some of my hair?" Hermione shrieked up to him.

"Found it. I've lots left so if it doesn't work this time I will slip some into his pumpkin juice at dinner."

"You know Peeves, if you want to see Potter as a girl then I will gladly supply you with a potion to turn him into the girl he would have been if he had been born one."

"Malfoy. It doesn't surprise me that you have such a potion as I'm sure you use it all the time. In fact it looks to me like you've used it several times on yourself over the years…more so over the holiday we've just had."

"Since when do you make quick comebacks?"

"You really should learn to be more like Snivellus, you're well on the way to becoming him already."

"Expelliarmus!" Malfoy roared.

Harry's wand went sailing across the room and Neville hurried to fetch it for him.

"Leave it for a moment Neville. I have a few tricks up my sleeves that Draco here doesn't know about. I had a long summer, Malfoy, and I kept myself busy. Not only did I kill your boss and most of his minions but I trained with two of the remaining Marauders. You'd be amazed at what I've learnt. Let me show you."

Harry leapt towards Malfoy. Mid leap he changed shape. Now he was an animal. He was a large tiger. His coat gleamed and he looked majestic and powerful. He advanced on Malfoy, who backed away until he was against the wall.

He cowered and the tiger appeared to grin, showing long pointed and undoubtedly incredibly sharp teeth. Then it spoke.

"Are you surprised, Little Boy, to see me like this? I see you quake with fear. You, the proud heir of the Malfoy clan. You quail before Harry Potter, the boy who lived, the boy who killed your boss and your father's boss."

"Don't you throw accusations like that at me Potter! And if you are going to insult me then you might as well do it in person. I prefer talking to humans rather than animals; though in your case there isn't much difference."

The tiger raised a huge paw, and everyone in the hall flinched as they were convinced he was about to strike him. But the next moment it was the human Harry who stood before Draco with his hand raised.

"Don't worry Draco, I'm not going to hurt you, yet. For now I'll let you off with a detention. Come on you two." He beckoned to Ron and Hermione, who scuttled after him, just as surprised as everyone else.

"You can't give me a detention, Potter!"

"Wanna bet, Malfoy?" Harry flung back over his shoulder disdainfully.

Harry seemed to not notice the spell that Malfoy threw at him soundlessly and the chair that Peeves dropped over his head. He had no wand but one sweep of his hand was enough to send the chair crashing into Malfoy and the hex directly at Peeves. They both fell to the floor in a heap.

Neville returned Harry's wand to him and he pocketed it, noting the admiring looks he was receiving from all of the people present.

Harry: 1 Peeves: 1 Malfoy: 0


	4. An Incident at Dinner

The next day Ron burst into the dining hall looking scared and shocked. He collapsed when he reached Harry, who raised him to his feet and passed him his glass of pumpkin juice.

"Now, what's the matter Ron?" Harry said gently.

"Malfoy and Peeves!" he wheezed. "Plotting. Against you. Heard. Them. Talking. You're in trouble!"

"Why should today be different? Malfoy can do what he wants, I can take anything he throws at me. Wait? Peeves AND Malfoy? This creates a slight problem."

"Put the mischievous poltergeist and the boy who loathes you more than any other person together and you get big trouble. Poor you Harry." Hermione deduced.

"I don't care! I don't give a monkeys arse about what they are doing." But he did care. He hated himself for this, but he was a little scared. What was he saying? He as Harry Potter, he didn't get scared, especially not of Peeves and Malfoy. Stop this nonsense, he told himself.

He was careful not to show what he was feeling in his face as he did not want his friends to know that he had felt fear. Hermione saw it though and noted that he was more like his father since the holidays. Damn Sirius! He wanted James back and since Harry looked so much like his father Harry was obviously the one Sirius had chosen. Damn him!

"Harry, you are so much like your father now, but I wonder if you are exactly like him. From what Lupin has told me, James fancied Lily for several years before he worked up the courage to ask her out. Tell me, if you are determined to be so much like your father, who is your Lily?" Hermione asked with a coy smile and sensing that she either already knew the answer, or that she would not like the answer when it came, if indeed it ever did.

"Oh yes I am indeed very similar to my father, and you have Sirius and Remus to thank for that. And just like daddy I do indeed have a certain lady in mind but you shall not find out her name until I am perfectly certain of her, or if I need help or advice from my master Agony Aunt." And he inclined his head towards her in acknowledgement that he appreciated her advice.

She smirked and then screamed and pointed at Harry's hair. It was going silver with green streaks through it.

At his perplexed look Hermione passed him a spoon and he saw his new hairdo. He didn't seem fazed.

Slowly, very carefully he picked up his glass of pumpkin juice. Hermione swore she saw him mutter something before he took a sip.

For a moment nothing happened.

Then the Slytherin table erupted into screams and a few laughs came from the Hufflepuff table which was nearest it.

The whole hall turned as one to stare at them. And what thy saw brought forth cheers and laughter.

Malfoy had swollen, in very much the same way Harry's Aunt Marge had done four years previously. He was now rising in the air and he started bouncing on peoples heads and some of the Slytherins were staring to play volleyball with him across the table.

Harry joined in the laughing and Hermione thought she saw a smug look come into his face. Of course it was him that did it. This spell was as much a part of him as the Bat Bogey Hex was Ginny's particular speciality. That explained the mutter. She was sitting next to him and now she edged a bit closer to him.

"How'd you do it then?" she muttered under cover of the laughter.

He watched Malfoy soar high in the air and then laughed at the look on his face as he headed back down towards the middle of the table.

"Will power. I didn't need a wand because of the will power I have to see him fall. You focus your mind on the person and then all you need to do is mutter the spell you want and it will get done." He said out of the corner of his mouth.

The Slytherins were now treating Malfoy like a balloon and were playing keepy-uppy with him. Then Crabbe got a little over enthusiastic and, clearly thinking that they were still playing volleyball, he hit Malfoy across the hall. He landed in the dividing isle between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables.

Incidentally he landed at Harry's feet. Harry nudged him with his toe so that he was facing him.

"Having fun Malfoy?" he said with that smug look still firmly in place.

"Nice hair, Potter." Malfoy snarled back.

"Admiring your handiwork are you? You must be cold lying there on the hard floor, let me help you up." Harry grabbed the front of Malfoy's robes and heaved him into the air. "Bon Voyage!" he said cheerily as he released him.


	5. What Sirius said

Two hours later Ron was still enthusing over Malfoy's humiliation.

He had been even more impressed when Hermione told him, with very little more than mild fury, that I had been Harry's doing in the first place. Harry noted the awed look Ron held him in for the rest of the evening.

Hermione noticed it too. Bugger!

"Harry, can I borrow your communication bowl please? I have to talk to Si-someone."

Silently he nodded and she shot over to their dorm to do it quickly.

Ever so carefully she sat in front of the fire with the great silver bowl in her lap.

"Sirius Black." She said rather loudly and clearly into it. Curling white smoke erupted from it and the face of Sirius appeared in front of her.

"Hermione! Hello darling! What can I do for you?"

"You're lucky you're in Grimauld Place because I think I might hit you!"

"What have I done this time?"

"Tell me something, do you feel you've got James back now that Harry is living with you?"

Sirius laughed. Actually it wasn't a laugh it was his unique barking laugh.

"I've been expecting something like this. From you especially. Sooner than I expected though. Over the summer Harry lived with Remus and myself. We told him stories about his father and the Marauders. We even taught him several things."

"Like how to be an animagus?"

"He's shown you?"

"Yes! He threatened Malfoy in that shape! I was as surprised as anyone in that hall. He is registered as an animagus, right?"

"Oh yes. We were both registered over the holiday. They were angry at me, of course, for not registering myself when I was at school, but Harry smoothed it all over."

"You still haven't answered my fundamental question!"

"Oh yes. Well Harry seemed to like our stories very much and I noticed that he's become more and more like his father. I'm quite proud of him."

"Well you shouldn't be! He's become a bully! He floated Malfoy round the dining hall at dinner tonight!"

"He didn't! The old Aunt Marge trick. We used it on Snivellous a couple of times, what fun we had!"

"You're setting a bad example to him! No, strike that, a terrible example for him!"

"What's so wrong about him having fun? Look, Mione, since he has been born he's had that awful Voldy creature hanging over him and the fate of the whole wizarding world on his poor shoulders. When he defeated, Voldy doesn't even deserve a gender or even a species, IT a cloud had lifted. He was free, at last. For once in his life he could relax without worrying that that disgusting, manipulative, creep, thing would come and kill him. Can you even begin to imagine how he felt? Everybody put so much pressure on him that he was barely strong enough to defeat that thing. But he did. He did that for us and now he wants to have fun. Just let him. He knows what he's doing. Trust me, any prank situation he finds himself in, he will be in complete control of it."

They continued to chat about Harry until the portrait hole opened and Harry entered with Ron and Ginny in tow. Ginny was still staring at Harry as though he was some kind of deity.

"Talked to who you wanted, Hermione?" Harry said, not noticing that Sirius was still there.

"Hello son."

"Sirius! That was who you're talking to? Why?"

"We were talking about you…"

"BYE Sirius!" Hermione closed down the link quickly to prevent him saying anything she didn't want the others to know.

There was something not quite right with Harry. Hermione couldn't think what it was.

Then she realised that he looked odd because he had the hood up on his robes.

What are you hiding Harry? She thought as they draped themselves over various chairs and sofas.

She remained standing and wandered around the room and placed the bowl on a table behind Harry.

Subtly her hand inched tentatively forward and she gently grasped the top of the hood before yanking it down.

There was a momentary pause and then Harry yelled.

Hermione sank onto the floor holding her sides. She was laughing so much it hurt.

Harry's hair was not black anymore.

It was baby pink! With a green and silver streak down the middle!

"Malfoy?"

"Malfoy."


	6. Revenge truely is sweet

"How did Malfoy do it?" Hermione asked curiously.

"We passed him in the hall on the way here. He must have cast it then."

Hermione looked at it again and couldn't help giggling. Harry glared at her and she shut her mouth tightly to suppress those irrepressible giggles. She made a couple of strange noises in the back of her throat before she caught him glaring at her again. She gave him an innocent look which no one believed before escaping to their joint bathroom.

Those remaining heard her gales of laughter from behind the barely soundproof door.

It wasn't hard to count the number of rolled eyes from those in the common room.

A moment later Hermione re entered looking red in the face but composed and all the eyes rolled back to their prospective owners.

"So, Harry, what are you going to do to Malfoy this time?"

"I'm thinking along the lines of public humiliation. It's gotta be good though."

"Levicorpus?" Ron suggested.

"Not enough. Maybe later. We'll keep it as a backup."

"Hermione, is there a way of duplicating a spell so that it works on a lot of people at once?" Ginny said with that glint of mischief in her eyes that meant she was inevitably up to something.

"Yes. It's a fairly simple spell. What did you have in mind?"

"We play Slytherin this weekend don't we? Well what I propose is…"

That Saturday the Gryffindor team knew the score and several other Gryffindor students had also been filled in so that their involvement could be included.

The first part of Ginny's plan was that Gryffindor would beat Slytherin by a lot to annoy them for starters. Well, winning was a given.

As Harry caught the Snitch from right under Malfoy's nose and raised it in triumph in front of the Gryffindor supporters, wands were drawn from the Gryffindor's who were in on it, including Harry and his fellow teammates. Hermione murmured the duplicating spell and everyone else muttered their spells. All the spells met and formed a white beam that was directed directly at the Slytherin team and their supporters.

Someone screamed as it hit them, probably a Hufflepuff.

The next moment the Slytherin team were flying around the stadium being attacked by flying bogeys, their hair was crimson and gold and they were shouting unintentional comments like "Gryffindor rock!" and "Slytherin stink!".

They got off easy. The Slytherin supporters got what they did but they also had a number of other hexes on them. An example would be Crabbe and Goyle doing a synchronized tap dance. Several of them were singing the school hymn very off tune. Pansy Parkinson had taken to snogging everyone close to her.

Three corners of the stands erupted with shrieks of laughter. Three guesses who they were.

Ron then delivered the final blow. He made them sing the Gryffindor version of "Weasley is our king".

As Harry watched them, grinning broadly, he let the Snitch go and caught it again after a few seconds, just as his father had done. Hermione noticed that he also messed up his hair in very James Potter fashion.

"Oh dear lord!" she sighed as she turned her attention back to the Slytherin end of the stadium.


	7. Of kisses and films

Malfoy was still stewing about the attack on Slytherin during the match a few weeks later but he was actually quite terrified of Harry so he didn't dare to do anything. He did dare however to throw in the odd snide comment as they passed each other in the crowded hallways.

Once he dared to go a little further and threw a hex at him. Unsurprisingly his aim was so bad that he missed. Rather horribly. The spell hit Dean Thomas, who was on the other end of the hallway from Harry. How he could have missed that badly is an unsolved mystery even to this day, rather like who killed Amy Dudley during the reign of Elizabeth the first. Well, not quite, Amy was still wandering around in the world, in fact through the hallways of Hogwarts. She is better known as the Grey Lady.

Harry took Dean back to the common room and sorted him out before promising that Malfoy would be punished. In the strictest confidence of course.

"But what can we do to him?" Fretted Ron who had come with them.

"Whatever we do it has to be good. Something he'll really hate." Fumed Dean as he sat comfortably in one of the armchairs.

"Hm. True. For this I think we may need a little help." Harry strode over to the fireplace and threw in some floo powder carelessly. He stuck his head in and after a moment came back out and repeated the act.

The second time he stayed in for a little longer.

Eventually he pulled his head out and shook the soot from his soot black hair.

A moment later there was a knock on the portrait hole and Hermione and Seamus came in.

"Right, I had a word with the twins a moment ago and they have given me some advice as to the punishment of Mr Malfoy for the heinous act of hexing Dean. They told me about how they would handle the situation. And before you ask, Ron, it doesn't include making him walk like a penguin for a week. While that would involve the essence of Malfoy's punishment, it has been done far too many times already."

"What do you suggest we do?"

"Fred and George's advice was public humiliation."

"We were going to do that but you said…"

"Look, I know what I said. And we did it, didn't we? The match and all. This time however, I think the words I should have used were PERSONAL public humiliation."

"How does that work, then?" Seamus said looking incredibly confused.

"Hermione, you understand feelings, don't you?"

"I would hardly say that! No one understands feelings."

"Anyway, what sexuality do you think dear old Malfoy is?"

"How is that in any way relevant?"

"Oh, it's entirely relevant. I think it's time we unleashed levicorpus. With a twist. Tell me Hermione, in your professional opinion, is Malfoy straight or gay?"

"I'm not a professional."

"You're a girl aren't you? Well at least I think you are…"

"Harry James Potter! I am every inch a lady! How dare you say such a thing to me of all people?"

Harry then did something incredibly stupid. Before Hermione could get into her stride Harry marched right up to her and kissed her firmly on the lips.

She blushed furiously…before hitting him.

"He's straight, Harry." She said in a very small voice. Before running into the bathroom and barricading herself in.

All of the boys grinned as they heard her scream of glee.

"Straight…right…that should help matters." Harry laughed and the boys gave him the look that plainly said 'Tell us now or face being teased forever about you kissing Hermione on the lips.'

"Hermione isn't the only person to get a kiss from me. Tell me, Dean, you live in a muggle home don't you, like me?"

Dean nodded.

"Well, have you seen the entertainingly terrible film, Spiderman?"

Harry watched him as he put two and two together. Unsurprisingly his answer came to five.

Harry's did too.

Their laughs started as chuckles and then they grew until they were rolling around on the floor.

A glance up at Ron and Seamus' confused faces made them laugh more.

Hermione re entered quietly and stared at them. For once the Hermione Granger was baffled.


	8. How dare you?

"What?" Hermione asked looking more confused than they had ever seen her.

"Oh, Hermione, you were also brought up as a Muggle, weren't you?"

"Yes I was, Harry, but what has that got to do with anything?"

"Remember when I came over to your house and we saw Spiderman together?"

"Oh god no! You can't do that!"

"Yes I can and I will do it tomorrow. No one hexes my friends. Even if he was aiming for me."

"I can't believe how bad his aim is." Dean said laughing.

"Maybe he was aiming for you, Dean."

"Seamus, no way. He had no reason to aim for me. He and Harry are arch nemesises."

"Nemesis's, Dean."

"Whatever Smarty Pants."

Hermione glared at Dean.

"Don't call me that. Anyway. Harry, you can't do this."

"I can and I will."

"Stop being a broken record! Think about it logically, Harry, you do this, and the whole school thinks you are gay."

"I don't care. We all know that I'm not, that's enough for me."

"You'll only be confirming that article Luna wrote."

"Dumbledore's arranged for us to have another Yule Ball this year hasn't he? Perfect opportunity."

"Harry you aren't your father and Malfoy isn't Snape! I know that Sirius wanted you to be like your father, but these games have to stop! You aren't James, Harry. James Potter is dead…and…he's not coming back…no matter how hard you wish for it. I don't know what happened this summer but if Remus and Sirius think that turning you into your father is going to change the fact that he's dead then…then you're as crazy as Lockheart. You can't bring him back, Harry…just face it."

Harry had been furiously pacing while she was talking now he stopped and rounded on Dean, Seamus and Ron.

"Get out. Now!" he snarled at them and they fled from the danger in his voice.

"How dare you, Hermione? How dare you say something like that to me? And in front of them? I know that I can't bring my father back, I've known for years that I can't. I'm not playing games. I'm on Marauder business. Did I tell you they initiated me over the summer. They taught me everything. Everything on how to become a Marauder. All their tricks, everything. Where do you think all my ideas for pranks have come from? They're the pranks that the Marauders did, years ago."

"But why, Harry, why become a Marauder? I don't understand."

"Because I had to. Sirius said it was James's dream for me to follow in his footsteps and become a Marauder, just like he was."

"You can't live your father's dream, Harry. I know about all the stories about what your father was like, I asked Remus. He willingly told me about what your father and Sirius did to Snape. And you're doing the same to Malfoy. You're torturing him. If you can't see that, then I see no difference between yourself and Voldemort. You're as bad as he was. But he was better than you. He knew when he was torturing his victims, you don't. Goodnight." And with that she stalked up to her room.

Harry sat there gazing into the fire. He didn't move when two tears rolled down his cheeks, half an hour later. He barely noticed the shape that sat itself on the arm of his chair and brushed them away gently.

"Harry?"

Now he moved his head very slightly towards the voice. It was Hermione. She looked very sorry for what she had said and very sad too. He couldn't stop another tear from wending it's way down his face and put his arms around Hermione and pulled her onto his lap for comfort.

"I want a true answer. Am I really worse than Voldy?"

"No Harry, of course not. I didn't mean it. I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me?"

"Stay with me for a while and I might think about it." He replied with a small smile.

"Silly boy!" she said affectionately. "That's just what James would say to…Lilly. I've just figured out who your Lilly is."

"Took you long enough!" he snorted. "Who do you think it is?"

"It's me, isn't it?"

"Would you like it to be you?"

"Stop being coy with me Mr Potter. That's a roundabout way of asking me if I fancy the pants off you."

"Fine. I'll be blunt. Do you fancy me?"

The look she gave him answered his question.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know what I think. You tell me and I'll tell myself that I was right, because you know I am."

"That all depends on what my answer is."

"Now who's being coy? Will you just answer the bloody question?"

"My, my we are impatient, aren't we?"

"Hermione…"

"Alright, take a pill of the chill variety. Sorry I had to."

"Okay that does it."

As Hermione was sitting on his lap he opened his legs and she fell in between them onto the floor. Or at least she would have done had she not grabbed him.

"I'm not going to tell you now."

"Fine, then you won't find out who my Lilly is." He grinned and hoisted her back onto his lap.

"Must you always be such a tease Harry?"

"Must you?"

"Oooh!"

"I try!"


	9. Captain and Lilly

"I was this close," Hermione raged to Ginny, holding her thumb and forefinger about a millimetre apart. "I was this close to finding out who he fancies! Now I'll never find out."

"You might do. Halloween is in a few weeks, right? Well, Dumbledore's initiated a Masquerade Ball for that night for the upper school, namely fourth year and up. We'll send him letters from a secret admirer and then you can initiate a conversation with him about who he thinks it is and, more importantly, who he wants it to be."

"That's too risky. Besides we're doing the secret admirer things round Valentines day. I'll just talk to him. And maybe write him a letter."

"We have to get fabulous costumes for it don't we."

"Of course. I'm the head girl, wait. Head girl and boy always have to go together to the ball and start the dancing. Wait! I can't dance!"

"Yes you can. Besides, Harry can always teach you. It's a great way to get close to someone and let them know you fancy them."

Hermione said goodbye to Ginny and went off to her common room. It was after dinner and the girls had come away earlier.

She pulled a poster for the Ball off the wall and read it as she went.

She had just settled herself into her favourite sofa with her feet up with a book, when Harry entered and sat on her legs.

"Hey baby." He said brightly.

"Hi. And since when do you call me baby?"

He shrugged and grinned.

"What 'cha readin'?"

"Never you mind."

"Come on, surely you can tell me?"

"Nope. Nothing doing Harry."

He sat quietly and then tried to snatch it from her. She had anticipated this and resisted his attempts to get the book. Unfortunately they ended up in a rather compromising position with him almost lying on top of her.

She grinned and looked up into his eyes. Just a bit closer…

"Why didn't you want me to know what you were reading?"

"I was embarrassed."

"Why? It's not a naughty book is it?"

"No. If you must know, it's a romance."

"Since when do you read romance novels?"

"I have done so for many years. This one happens to be one of my favourites."

"Which is it?"

"Do you read romance?"

"Not much. Which book is it?"

"It's an old romance by Jane Austen. It's called Persuasion."

"I've read that. It's good."

"It is indeed."

"Who is your Captain Wentworth?"

"What?"

"Yesterday you asked me who my Lilly was. I'm returning the favour and asking you who you're Captain Wentworth is."

"I'll only tell you if you will tell me who your Lilly is."

"Fine, my Lilly holds the same position as the original Lilly. Head Girl."

"My Captain Wentworth happens to be lying on top of me right now."

They grinned at each other.

"Get off me Captain."

"As you wish Lilly."

He removed himself and sat on the sofa while she snuggled into him and continued reading.

"Go to the ball with me."

"Love to. Now will you excuse me, Captain Wentworth wrote a romantic letter to her and I love reading it."

"Read your favourite bits out loud."

" 'I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never.' Isn't he romantic?"

"Indeed, dear. But I am not so romantic as the character you call me."

"I am not your dear mother either. I can never hope to have her goodness. But I think you can be romantic when you want to be. Can you dance?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Because there are several balls this year and I can't dance."

"That won't do at all, Miss Granger. Not to worry, I'll teach you. Now?"

"No, I'm tired."

"Rest on me, I don't mind."

Within ten minutes she was asleep. Harry carried her up to her room and laid her out on the bed. He kissed her forehead and then crept back to the common room to finish an essay on defence against a Dementor.


	10. Spiderman

Hermione took Harry's hand as they walked down to breakfast the next morning.

"Hello, what's this?"

"Harry, I have a favour to ask. You know this prank that you're planning to do on Malfoy…"

"Let me guess, you don't want me to do it?"

"Oh Captain can do it…but only if his Lilly can help."

"Okay…what?"

"I wanna help. I wanna prank Malfoy into the next century."

"What has he done to you?"

"He ruined my potion in class yesterday and interrupted my private study time in the library. That time is sacred to me, and he disrupted it."

"What do you suggest we do? We have that Spiderman prank all ready."

"Exactly. Other than you who does he hate most in this school?"

"Huh?"

"What kind of person does he hate?"

"Muggle-borns like…you!"

"If the two people he hates most in this school do it then we will have gotten him back sufficiently."

"You can be really evil, do you know that?"

"I learnt from Malfoy. At one point he was my secret boyfriend. No one ever found out about it. He hates me even more because I dumped him because he tried to force me to sleep with him. Let's just say his balls were very sore for about a week."

"Ouch! No one messes with you, huh? What if it was just you that did the prank, and then throw in an offhand comment about while you were dating? Then people would know about it and he would be even more humiliated. I'll spell him and you do it."

"Where shall we do it? The Great Hall?"

"No, too many teachers. Entrance Hall. After breakfast. We'll have to…"

"Already ahead of you. Come on. Let's go in."

They entered the hall and Hermione casually asked Ginny if she could borrow some lip gloss.

"Sure. Why?"

"Change of plan." She pointed to Malfoy. Ginny caught on and started giggling.

"Psst! Guys!" Dean, Seamus, Ron, Colin, and Nigel turned around and looked at Hermione. "After breakfast get as many people into the Entrance Hall as possible, well, a substantial crowd, enough to spread it round the school. Colin and Nigel, get your cameras we want pictures taken throughout the whole prank. We're pranking Malfoy. Dean, you and Seamus make sure the Patil twins and Lavender are in the Entrance Hall. They're the biggest gossips in the school. Enough said. Also make sure Luna is there. Make sure she gets a copy of the pictures. Actually…"

She turned in her seat and called the girls over. A burst of giggling occurred when she told them the plan.

Near the end of breakfast Hermione prodded Ginny. Ginny handed her the lip gloss and left the hall. The others caught on and left too. Malfoy was still in his seat.

"Are you ready Harry?"

"Are you? You're the one who's got to kiss him."

"You don't mind that I'm kissing him, do you?"

"No. I know it's only for a prank."

"Okay, there he goes, let's do this."

They followed him into the Entrance hall.

"Go Harry!"

"Levicorpus!" he shouted.

Malfoy was suspended upside down.

"Hello dear." Hermione sauntered up to him. Everyone in the hall was now watching the episode. "Harry, darling, lift him higher. That's better."

Malfoy's face was now at a level with hers. She moved forwards an inch and kissed him full on the lips. His eyes widened in shock. After half a minute she withdrew and smiled at him evilly.

"Just like old times, right Draco?" then she laughed at his horrified face and the hall laughed with her. "Isn't that how I used to kiss you? When we were dating I mean? Of course, you were the right way up back then. You're still as bad a kisser as you were back then. See you later darling. Let him down Harry. I think he's suffered enough."

She walked back to Harry put a hand on his arm.

"Come on, we've got class."

Malfoy was left a weeping heap on the floor. He watched their retreating backs and drew his wand. Before he could speak a tiger had him pinned to the floor.

"Harry! Down boy! Captain! Come back here immediately!" the tiger paced over to Hermione and she stroked his head. "Come on Captain. We should go."

The tiger started walking off.

"Ahem! Harry…"

The tiger changed back into Harry.

"Oops! I forgot, again." Harry grinned at her apologetically.

"Come on Captain."

"Yes Lilly."

After they had gone those left behind looked confused.

"What was that about?" Dean said with an expression of total confusion.

"Yeah, why did she call him Captain and he call her Lilly?" Seamus said looking equally confused.

"I don't know what the Captain thing was about but I sure as hell know what he meant!" Ginny squealed. "She's his Lilly! She did talk to him! Finally! This means they're together! At last!"

"Thank the lord!"

"I thought it would never happen!"

They looked at Ron for his reaction.

"All I can say is that it's BLOODY BRILLIANT! I've been waiting for this to happen for about five years! And at last it has! Good for them!"


	11. So close

The Halloween ball was now only two weeks away. Harry stumbled into the head's common room with his robes ripped one evening. What he saw made him gasp.

Hermione had cleared the sofa and chairs so there was a large space and had set up a gramophone out of which a waltz was playing. Neville was with her and he was steering her round and round, but being Neville they had been forced to stop rather frequently as he kept treading on her toes.

As Harry watched they ended the dance and Neville went to change the record to a tango. This time it was Hermione who trod on his toes as she struggled to get the timing right.

Neither had yet noticed Harry hiding in the shadow of the portrait hole.

"Ow!"

"Sorry Neville! I think both our toes have suffered enough tonight. Shall we continue tomorrow?"

"Yes, I think that would be best. Good night, Hermione."

Neville bowed and Hermione curtseyed. Harry decided that now would be as good a time as any to reveal himself. He emerged from the shadows clapping.

"Harry!"

"Excuse me, I must be going. There's that defense essay I have yet to start."

"Neville, remember that wonderful link you made to me concerning the uses of that Mediterranean sea limpet or something to ward away an attacking Grindilow. That was a rather brilliant discovery from you. You mention that in this essay on the Grindilow attacks, and I guarantee that you may even beat Hermione's grade. Off you go."

"What happened to you Harry? Why are your robes ripped?"

"Why do you think?"

"Not Malfoy again! He's gotten so much worse since I kissed him for that prank."

"You know why he does it?"

"No I haven't a clue. Tell me." Hermione looked eager and her eyes sparkled in such a cute fashion.

"He wishes it was himself in my place. He wants to be your boyfriend instead of me. I shall have to watch my back."

"I shall have to do something about it."

"Revenge I'm thinking."

"Anyway, go change and bring them to me and I shall mend them for you."

Harry left and returned quickly. He carelessly tossed his robes onto the sofa next to Hermione. She had conjured a sewing box and, smirking at his offhand behavior, took them and started to patch them up.

"Isn't there a quicker way of doing that? Isn't there some spell you can use?"

"No Harry, there is not. I shall have to do them by hand. I had thought that Molly Weasley would have invented such a spell. Nevertheless she has not and during the holidays when you couldn't join us she would teach Ginny and I how to darn. Besides I like it. I feel it is somehow soothing."

As Hermione took the crumpled robes onto her lap Harry sat down next to her and watched her working. Gradually she leant back into his shoulder and used him as a pillow as she worked.

"Harry, have you decided what you want to be when you're out of school yet?"

"Yes, I have been offered by the England Quidditch team to join them and be the reserve Seeker and join the team when Killick decides to retire to save his limbs."

"And what do you do when you cannot use your limbs much on the pitch anymore?"

"Then I think I should like to come back here and teach defense."

"I want to teach here too, but I should prefer charms or something. I think I have to go and work for the ministry or something for a few years and then come back and teach."

"I can see you teaching. Not here but in Beauxbatons."

"I couldn't possibly work there, I'd get far too depressed at how beautiful the girls are and how graceful they are. They're too perfect out there, it would just make me sad because I would compare myself to them and get depressed."

"I don't think you have any reason to get depressed about it. You're perfect in your own skin and they are a little too perfect. I don't see why you should get so depressed if you did work there. Personally it would be my dream come true if I go there to visit my darling girlfriend and…nevermind." Even Harry couldn't talk himself out of this look Hermione was sending his way. It was something along the lines of 'If you don't shut up right now I'll shove your wand somewhere you really don't want it to be!'

"Since when am I your girlfriend?"

"Well…since…well…since I told you that you were my Lilly and you said I was your Captain Wentworth. We've been going out since then, haven't we?"

Hermione sniggered and turned her eyes back to the robes.

"I know…I was just testing you. You fall for things like that so easily. I know I'm your girlfriend, you idiot."

Harry sat and thought about it.

"If you know you're my girlfriend, then why haven't you kissed me yet?"

"I have kissed you."

"Not on the lips. You never kiss me on the mouth. Most of the time its me kissing you, and you keep dodging whenever I try to kiss you on the lips anyway."

"Just keeping you on your toes."

"I may as well go back to Ginny and go out with her again."

"Don't you dare!"

"Hah! I knew it! Just testing you!"

"Shut up!"

"Make me!"

"Fine I will!"

Hermione chucked the robes onto the floor and the sewing box went flying as she turned around quickly and sat on his lap.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he paled slightly.

"What do you think?"

She leant down and started to kiss his neck. Then slowly, teasingly she moved up his neck and then she kissed the corner of his mouth. His hands found their way round her waist and then one went lower and one went higher. She felt this and stopped kissing him. She smiled at him and winked before climbing back off him and picking up the robes again. The wind was completely taken out of his sails. He blinked, then he blinked again. Then he repeated this several times in a rather bemused way.

He looked at her and she felt his bewildered gaze and he could sense her smiling, no, smirking at him.

She held the shocked silence until she couldn't take the glare any longer. The giggle started small and she did try to suppress it. But she couldn't. She snorted and then clamped her mouth shut where the snort could still be heard in the back of her throat. Harry just glared harder.

"What? What's wrong Harry?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing."

Pause.

"How could you do that to me?"

"I knew you were going to say that."

"Answer the question, Mione."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Why must you be such a tease? Never mind. More importantly, why did you do that? Why did you get me all aroused and happy and then drop the bomb?"

"I didn't drop any bomb on you. I didn't do you anything."

"I was just getting into it and then you stopped. And I want to know why!"

"I think it'll do you good to wait till you can have me. I like to keep you on your toes."

"If you carry on like this you may never get me!"

"Aren't you pleased that you got closer to snogging me? I would have thought you would be over the moon about getting that close."

"I am. I'm just a bit disappointed that I didn't get more."

"God, you sound just like Sirius!"


End file.
